Oh the Joys of Being a Royals Fan...
The majority of my day was spent at the Royals vs. Tigers game here in Kansas City (sorry for the cruddy photo, it's from my phone). I couldn't resist, even on such short notice, as the ticket was free and I hadn't attended a game yet this year. The only downside of going was having to witness the Royals break everyones heart with their 13th straight loss in none other than good old Royals fashion. Despite the loss, it was still a good time and I thought I would document the game in the form of song, albeit a bit of a sarcastic and harsh attempt. So here we go...
The House of Love - Hope [MP3]
Oh yes, there was plenty of hope after the first inning which saw back-to-back-to-BACK homers from Tony Graffinino, Angel Berroa, and Doug Meintkiewicz in that respective order. Six runs should be enough right? I mean, that's a fairly considerable lead to have coming out of the first inning. Unfortunately this is not the case in Royals land. In the top of the second the Tigers responded by putting a quick three runs on the board off of starter Denny Bautista. It's all right though, I mean we are still up by two runs. No problem. We can hold them off. Oh wait, here comes the 4th inning in which Bautista is pulled after giving up two more runs for some dude who hasn't pitched a single inning in the bigs ever, which sadly is the best pitcher we get to see all day. Thankfully after seeing the score get to an all to close 6-5, the Royals Esteban German homers to center in the bottom of the 4th and later in the 6th Emil Brown doubles in a run to bring us back to a comfortable 8-5 lead. I guess I shouldn't ever feel comfortable with any sort of lead, but were talking about "hope" here.
Archers of Loaf - Let the Loser Melt [MP3]
The score is now 8-6 after Bobby Keppel gave up only one run in 3.1 innings of work. Enter our ex-closer Ambiorix Burgos who is brought in during the 8th to protect the lead, which he does for maybe a batter or two before he ignites what is the beginning of a train wreck. Anyway, Burgos would give up a triple to Pudge Rodriguez with two runners on whom both score on the play, bringing the score to a tie ball game at 8-8. Burgos was then pulled for Elmer Dessens, who up until this week had been marvelous.
Delgados - Repeat Failure [MP3]
With the game being tied, one would figure you could count on Dessens who had been outstanding pretty much the entire year so far. However, this was not to be as Dessens miraculously out did Burgos by giving up not two, but four runs in only 0.2 innings of work. He did however get us out of the 8th, but began his handy work in the 9th with two solo shots courtesy of Craig Monroe and Marcus Thames. He then would allow Brandon Inge and Curtis Granderson to reach base before being mercifully pulled in favor of Andrew Sisco and his ass kicking 7+ ERA. Nice.
Traindodge - Corresponding Failure [MP3]
So yes, as expected Andrew Sisco allowed the final three runs by giving up a monstrous shot from Pudge Rodriguez that, as of this reading, still probably hasn't landed yet. Two of those runs were credited to Dessens, we can't slight him any in this collective loss.
The Jesus Lizard - Countless Backs of Sad Losers [MP3]
The end result was a 13-8 ass kicking from the Detroit Tigers to a deflated and emotionless Royals team. There really isn't much else to say after witnessing the teams 13th straight loss. They get the privilege of starting a road trip after this with facing the Yankees to kick things off, so the losing streak is looking as if it could be a bit longer than 13.
To all of you that have major league baseballs teams that are actually major league baseball teams, be thankful. Be very thankful.
The House of Love - Hope [MP3]
Oh yes, there was plenty of hope after the first inning which saw back-to-back-to-BACK homers from Tony Graffinino, Angel Berroa, and Doug Meintkiewicz in that respective order. Six runs should be enough right? I mean, that's a fairly considerable lead to have coming out of the first inning. Unfortunately this is not the case in Royals land. In the top of the second the Tigers responded by putting a quick three runs on the board off of starter Denny Bautista. It's all right though, I mean we are still up by two runs. No problem. We can hold them off. Oh wait, here comes the 4th inning in which Bautista is pulled after giving up two more runs for some dude who hasn't pitched a single inning in the bigs ever, which sadly is the best pitcher we get to see all day. Thankfully after seeing the score get to an all to close 6-5, the Royals Esteban German homers to center in the bottom of the 4th and later in the 6th Emil Brown doubles in a run to bring us back to a comfortable 8-5 lead. I guess I shouldn't ever feel comfortable with any sort of lead, but were talking about "hope" here.
Archers of Loaf - Let the Loser Melt [MP3]
The score is now 8-6 after Bobby Keppel gave up only one run in 3.1 innings of work. Enter our ex-closer Ambiorix Burgos who is brought in during the 8th to protect the lead, which he does for maybe a batter or two before he ignites what is the beginning of a train wreck. Anyway, Burgos would give up a triple to Pudge Rodriguez with two runners on whom both score on the play, bringing the score to a tie ball game at 8-8. Burgos was then pulled for Elmer Dessens, who up until this week had been marvelous.
Delgados - Repeat Failure [MP3]
With the game being tied, one would figure you could count on Dessens who had been outstanding pretty much the entire year so far. However, this was not to be as Dessens miraculously out did Burgos by giving up not two, but four runs in only 0.2 innings of work. He did however get us out of the 8th, but began his handy work in the 9th with two solo shots courtesy of Craig Monroe and Marcus Thames. He then would allow Brandon Inge and Curtis Granderson to reach base before being mercifully pulled in favor of Andrew Sisco and his ass kicking 7+ ERA. Nice.
Traindodge - Corresponding Failure [MP3]
So yes, as expected Andrew Sisco allowed the final three runs by giving up a monstrous shot from Pudge Rodriguez that, as of this reading, still probably hasn't landed yet. Two of those runs were credited to Dessens, we can't slight him any in this collective loss.
The Jesus Lizard - Countless Backs of Sad Losers [MP3]
The end result was a 13-8 ass kicking from the Detroit Tigers to a deflated and emotionless Royals team. There really isn't much else to say after witnessing the teams 13th straight loss. They get the privilege of starting a road trip after this with facing the Yankees to kick things off, so the losing streak is looking as if it could be a bit longer than 13.
To all of you that have major league baseballs teams that are actually major league baseball teams, be thankful. Be very thankful.
posted by Jonathan at
6:35 PM
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